Disclaimer: I am not medically trained. I am not a researcher. I am not an expert. I am just a polyamorous female who has done her homework and is willing to pass along stuff.
Assessing STD Risk Tolerance
Life should come with a warning label, 'Caution: Living can be dangerous to your health.' Life is about finding your own unique balance between risk and reward... quality of life versus quantity of life. All around us is risk - driving down the street, flying across country, eating a cookie, etc. Heck, you could be taking really good care of your health, and then go out for a jog around the block and have a tree fall on you.
Sex is risky - use common sense
Ultra right wing groups preach to our country's youth that sex is risky and should be avoided until marriage. And you know what? They're right - it is risky. But what these folks are missing the point on is that life is about risk, and that there are ways to go about approaching risk with information. I choose to promote that you should learn about the risks and decide what is right for you.
I've been known to participate in some fairly risky behavior - skydiving, snowboarding, white water rafting and SCUBA diving. But I take those risks on consciously. I study the activity, receive proper training and know my personal limits. For instance, if I have an ear infection I don't SCUBA dive. If I'm not feeling confident, I don't jump out of an airplane. If my knee is aching, I don't strap myself to a board and hurl myself down a snowy mountain. It's simple stuff like that. Sex is no different.
Know your risks, know yourself, know
your partners
When
assessing your own risk tolerance when it comes to sex, you need to be
informed of what the risks are and you need to know yourself and your own
limits. Do you have the
means? Many of the STDs out there are fairly symptomless and can only be
detected with testing done by a doctor or clinic. But if they're not
caught within a reasonable time period, they can silently cause
irreversible damage and become potentially uncurable.. all the while you
could be unknowingly spreading them to people you love. Some can cause
infertility and even death. Do you have the
means necessary to stay on top of regular STD testing and obtain treatment
if something is detected? How's
your Immune System? Another
factor in your outcome in exposure to STDs is your own immune system. If
your immune system is in top form, some of the STDs can be combated by
your own body (HPV is a great example of this). Do you eat a healthy
diet? Get plenty of exercise? Have minimal stress in your life? If
not, your immune system may be compromised making you more vulnerable to
infections. Are you currently
dealing with healing from a STD or any other major disease? How
risky is your new potential partner? Assess
each new potential partner individually. Exchanging a sexual history (a
listing of who you've done what with - you can use my form: Sexual
Health and History Template), even if only for the past couple of
years, can give you a lot of insight into someone's level of potential
exposure to STDs and how seriously they take STDs. Determine if you're comfortable taking on the risk with
the new person, or if you'll require recent STD test results first (also
be aware that some STDs won't show up on a test for several months.) Talk
about expectations for taking on new partners after you become sexual with
someone new - will your possible exposure to future risk remain open
ended?
The
basic message here is that ignorance is not bliss. Take responsibility for
your own health. Educate yourself about STDs. Don't be afraid to TALK
about this stuff with your partner(s) and express your concerns and listen
to theirs. Chances are, if you made it this far in my website you're
likely more aware and concerned about STDs than most people you'll encounter,
likely even your own partner.
