Disclaimer: I am not medically trained. I am not a researcher. I am not an expert. I am just a polyamorous female who has done her homework and is willing to pass along stuff.
Assessing STD Risk Tolerance
Life should come with a warning label, 'Caution: Living can be dangerous to your health.' Life is about finding your own unique balance between risk and reward... quality of life versus quantity of life. All around us is risk - driving down the street, flying across country, eating a cookie, etc. Heck, you could be taking really good care of your health, and then go out for a jog around the block and have a tree fall on you.
Sex is risky - use common sense
Ultra right wing groups preach to our country's youth that sex is risky and should be avoided until marriage. And you know what? They're right - it is risky. But what these folks are missing the point on is that life is about risk, and that there are ways to go about approaching risk with information. I choose to promote that you should learn about the risks and decide what is right for you.
I've been known to participate in some fairly risky behavior - skydiving, snowboarding, white water rafting and SCUBA diving. But I take those risks on consciously. I study the activity, receive proper training and know my personal limits. For instance, if I have an ear infection I don't SCUBA dive. If I'm not feeling confident, I don't jump out of an airplane. If my knee is aching, I don't strap myself to a board and hurl myself down a snowy mountain. It's simple stuff like that. Sex is no different.
Know your risks, know yourself, know your partners
When assessing your own risk tolerance when it comes to sex, you need to be informed of what the risks are and you need to know yourself and your own limits.
Do you have the means? Many of the STDs out there are fairly symptomless and can only be detected with testing done by a doctor or clinic. But if they're not caught within a reasonable time period, they can silently cause irreversible damage and become potentially uncurable.. all the while you could be unknowingly spreading them to people you love. Some can cause infertility and even death. Do you have the means necessary to stay on top of regular STD testing and obtain treatment if something is detected?
How's your Immune System? Another factor in your outcome in exposure to STDs is your own immune system. If your immune system is in top form, some of the STDs can be combated by your own body (HPV is a great example of this). Do you eat a healthy diet? Get plenty of exercise? Have minimal stress in your life? If not, your immune system may be compromised making you more vulnerable to infections. Are you currently dealing with healing from a STD or any other major disease?
How risky is your new potential partner? Assess each new potential partner individually. Exchanging a sexual history (a listing of who you've done what with - you can use my form: Sexual Health and History Template), even if only for the past couple of years, can give you a lot of insight into someone's level of potential exposure to STDs and how seriously they take STDs. Determine if you're comfortable taking on the risk with the new person, or if you'll require recent STD test results first (also be aware that some STDs won't show up on a test for several months.) Talk about expectations for taking on new partners after you become sexual with someone new - will your possible exposure to future risk remain open ended?
The basic message here is that ignorance is not bliss. Take responsibility for your own health. Educate yourself about STDs. Don't be afraid to TALK about this stuff with your partner(s) and express your concerns and listen to theirs. Chances are, if you made it this far in my website you're likely more aware and concerned about STDs than most people you'll encounter, likely even your own partner.
