Disclaimer: I am not medically trained. I am not a researcher. I am not an expert. I am just a polyamorous female who has done her homework and is willing to pass along stuff.
My
Relationship with HPV
Originally written April 14, 2005 - updated January, 21, 2008
Over the years, I have had many wonderful relationships as I’ve explored polyamory. For the most part, my relationships have been positive and contributing to my personal growth. But there was one relationship that I can do without and that is my on again off again relationship with high risk HPV – or the human papillomavirus. The most common STD on the planet. The one responsible for cervical cancer. The reason women have PAP smears. The one that according to CDC statistics kills as many American women every year as the AIDS virus does. The virus that has millions of women a year being diagnosed with abnormal PAP smears.
Before you start on me about how STDs are what happen to those who are promiscuous or don’t responsibly use condoms, let me tell you that this particular STD can happen to anyone who’s sexually active. I was 29 years old when I was first diagnosed, and had a grand total of 5 male sexual partners that included penetrative intercourse. Two of those men were virgins with the use of condoms. On my second diagnosis (May 2007), my sexual history had only increased by a couple of partners. I’m certainly no virgin, but considering I’ve been polyamorous my entire adult life, those are relatively low numbers. Also, in the 3 years prior to my first diagnosis, I had taken on no new sexual partners and had been having perfectly clean PAP smears. Evidence that HPV can lay dormant for years, just waiting for a dip in your immune system to wreak its havoc. In my case, it was likely stress that allowed HPV to interfere with my life.
Before I was
diagnosed with my first abnormal PAP smear in April 2003, I knew of HPV
and had kept up with the research coming out about its link to cervical
cancer. I had already adjusted my safer sex practices, and re-evaluated
my risk vs. rewards criteria when considering new relationships as a
result. But it wasn’t until my own diagnosis with the
virus and the pre-cancerous markers of an abnormal PAP smear that it
really started to sink in that cervical cancer alone was not the only risk of HPV. I was originally diagnosed with
LGSIL/LSIL, or mild dysplasia – which is technically pre-pre-cancerous.
Certainly not an immediate threat to my life or health. I was surprised by how many women in my circles
contacted me to tell me they too had gone through a similar thing. The
more who contacted me, the more upset I became by how prevalent the virus
was and how little information there was about HPV in the general media,
and by how little this traditionally ‘women’s problem’ was
discussed. Some of the women were not even aware of the link between HPV,
abnormal PAPs, and cervical cancer. Thankfully in more recent years, this
has changed a lot, especially with the recent release of the Garadisil
vaccine. I decided to educate
myself as much as possible about HPV, abnormal PAPs and cervical cancer. I
wanted to understand what was going on with my body so that I could make
the best choices about my treatment approach, and making decisions about
my sexual relationships. In
a nutshell, I discovered the following information: -
There are over 30 strains of HPV that can be transmitted genitally.
13-15 of them are classified as being high-risk for cervical cancer. 95-99%
of all cervical cancers have one of those strains of HPV present. Some
of the strains are low-risk, and cause what are more commonly known as
‘genital warts’. -
HPV is the most prevalent STD out there, and perhaps even the most
prevalent virus on the planet. It’s estimated that 20-30% of the
sexually active population is carrying an active, transmittable strain of
HPV at any one time. And 80% of all sexually active people will be exposed
to it in their lifetimes. -
A healthy immune system can usually deal with an HPV exposure in
6-24 months without ever presenting symptoms. And if it does, you possibly
build up
immunity against that particular strain. -
A co-infection of multiple strains of HPV can reduce the body’s
immune system from fighting the virus. -
When a woman has mild dysplasia, that’s when the virus is
actively trying to replicate itself using the body’s cellular structure.
This is when a woman is highly contagious. -
Condoms do not offer full protection against HPV. At best,
they offer 70% protection against spreading the virus. But they do
offer much better protection against HPV becoming an abnormal lesion on
the cervix. -
Men don’t show symptoms of high risk HPV, and can’t be tested
for it currently. But they can be active carriers of the virus. Knowing that I had
mild dysplasia, and was extremely contagious, and that exposure to a new
strain of HPV could inhibit my healing process -
my partner and I decided to close the doors to new sexual
relationships until I was having clear PAP smears again. It seemed the
ethical and safe thing to do. We also decided to try
the ‘wait and see’ approach for treatment, since statistically
speaking, I had a high chance of the dysplasia reversing on its own in a
matter of a year or so. I tried homeopathic suppositories, adjusted my
diet to include a lot of fresh veggies, increased my exercise, got on an
extensive vitamin regiment and even tried traditional Chinese approaches
with herbs. Anything to boost my immune system and give my body the best
chance I could to beat this thing on its own.
A year later, I
got a biopsy result back that showed the dysplasia had progressed to
moderate level or CIN-2. Instead of getting better, it was getting worse and I was
now technically pre-cancerous.
And, now being over 30, my chances of reversal were going down
exponentially as more time went on. I
gave in, admitted defeat to HPV, and scheduled a LEEP procedure to
physically remove infected tissue from my cervix with an electrically
charged wire. The LEEP seemed to work and by August 2004, I was again having normal
PAP smears. But the LEEP doesn’t get rid of the virus, just the
infected tissue. I had normal PAP smears and negative HPV results for over
2 years. I took on a new primary partner shortly thereafter, and in May 2007, to my disappointment, I was
diagnosed with another low grade abnormal PAP smear. Maybe it was my old
HPV coming back, or possibly a new strain transmitted by him
(considering two of his exes came up with abnormal PAPs smears recently,
that's a highly likelyhood.) In December 2007, I had another biopsy
done and it also came back showing signs of progression to moderate
dysplasia. Since I am childfree by choice and now dealing with
almost 5 years of re-occurring HPV problems, I decided to have a
total hysterectomy to remove my infected cervix and uterus in February
2008. This was a
pretty extreme measure for my diagnosis, but it was the right for me. Most women who have re-occurring problems with
HPV will not choose, or even be offered, this path unless HPV progresses
to cancer. For a virus
that is so common, is 5 years so far of dealing with its fallout really all that
trivial? Is contemplating a major surgery of organ removal that will
render a female infertile really something to dismiss as a possible
outcome of an HPV infection? HPV is the only STD where the standard treatment for it is
physically hacking away the infected tissue. For such a
common virus, the implications of it are far from trivial. Not to mention,
the threat of the cancer looms heavily if the virus progresses. Even if a woman
doesn't need surgical treatment, while dealing with an
active diagnosis, I generally shut off the possibility of new sexual relationships to prevent
spreading this little virus to others, and making my situation worse by
being exposed to new strains. A
virus that caused no apparent symptoms – it doesn’t hurt, smell, look
funky or reduce my desire or ability to have sex. And while emotional relationships
were still available, the number of people willing to put the effort
into a non-sexual romantic relationship with a high bar for becoming sexual.. are few and far between. I lived in fear and anticipation every 3 months for my repeat PAP
smears to discover if I have finally beaten this thing or not.
As much as I tried to let life go on, HPV has hovered over my head
for too long.
But all in all.
HPV isn't the end of the world, as annoying and frustrating as it is. The LEEP surgery really wasn't that
bad. And while a total hysterectomy is a pretty major surgery that required several weeks of real recovery and impacts on my life for
several months out- my prognosis for long term quality of life is high.
You can read here about my hysterectomy
experience.
But HPV sure has raised the bar for me as to what are worthwhile sexual
relationships. Thankfully, I
caught mine early via a regular PAP smear and had treatment
choices to try. Regular PAP smears really are a woman's best defense against cervical
cancer. I have hopes that one day I'll be able to
say HPV is a thing of my past.
